Lost
by Spirit414
Summary: It's like, I don't know, it's like he's got some secret inside of him, something he's afraid of, and he's fighting it, as hard as he can.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Well, here it is. My first big fic that I hope will turn out ok. I will try to update asap.

Chapter One.

Blink's P.O.V

Well, it started out as any regular day would. I woke up as usual to Kloppman's insanely loud yelling, and yawned hugely as I made my way to the washroom with all the other guys. Nobody's really a morning person, so we don't talk much. Even I take at least an hour to become my usually happy-go-lucky self. So, since nothing really happened, I'll just skip to the part where we get to the Distribution Office. I took my usual place in line, in front of Mush and behind Crutchy. I greeted him with my usual 'Heya Mushy!' while slapping him on the back. All he did was smile a little and turn away. Kinda odd. Maybe he had a bad night or something. I mean, Mush has always been on the quiet side, but we were best friends, he always talked to me. He'd snap out of it.

When I got my papes I waited for him as usual, threw my arm around him then said, "Ready? I got some good ideas for improvin' the headlines today, so I was thinking'-"

"Blink," Mush interrupted feebly, "I-I think I wanna sell alone today."

"Oh….ok," I replied, surprised, we always sold together. And I mean always. I watched him walk off. Well, maybe he needed some 'alone time.' I'd give it to him, and then talk to him at lunch. I hoped he'd be back to his normal self by then.

So, how did you like it so far??? Please review. Sorry the Chapter was so short.

Spirit


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Notes: Ok, sorry that last chapter was so short, but I realized that I could have just put chapters one and two together. (Wow, I'm an idiot) So, basically, this chapter will be short too. Thanks to my first two reviewers!!! **_

_**Disclaimer: (Sorry I didn't put this up before) Ok, I don't own Newsies, but if I did, do you think I would even bother to spend my time writing stories?**_

**Chapter Two**

Just to let you know, things weren't better by lunch. Mush continued to avoid me and everyone else for that matter. Like, when I even walked into Tibby's, he got all nervous and just ran right out. I didn't see him the rest of the day until late that night. Sure, all of us come in a little later at night for whatever reasons, (I'm sure you can guess one), but the way Mush came in, so quietly and sneaky, just wasn't normal. Then, when I caught him, playfully asking where he was, he froze, stared at me for about five seconds, and then just bolted to the door.

The conversation went something like this, me: "Heya Mushy, where ya been?" nudge nudge

No response, just staring.

"You ok? 'Cause you've been acting kind of strange today."

No response, just staring. He just stared alternating between my face and the hand I playfully nudged him with, and then bolted up the fire escape, and to the roof. I knew better than to follow him.

The next morning was no better. He left really early in the morning, and then came back late at night so I didn't see him at all that day. I had to get up in the middle of the night to make sure he was there. (I know, I'm a great friend) He tossed and turned all night and slept with a pained look on his face. That was seriously not like Mush. He looked peaceful when he slept, sometimes even wore a smile on his face. I had to find out what was wrong with Mush. He was my best friend after all, and I couldn't let whatever was bothering him, well, bother him so much. There was definitely something bothering him, and I was going to get to the bottom of it.

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_**Again, sorry that chapter was so short, thanks to my stupidity, but the next one will be better and more actiony. (I don't think that's a word but oh well!!)**_

_**Spirit **_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Notes: WOOOOO!!! Next chapter is here!! Hopefully this one will be better than the last ones!! Thank you Passionate Fire for your support in your reviews!**_

_**Disclaimer: (Sorry I didn't put this up before) Ok, I don't own Newsies, but if I did, do you think I would even bother to spend my time writing stories?**_

_**Chapter Three **_

Other guys were starting to notice too. Mush, I mean. It seemed as if he was getting better around some of the other guys, but he avoided me at all costs. The last time I talked to him was that weird night, and that was almost a week ago. But, as I said, the other guys were starting to notice too.

Race had said to me the other day, "It's like, I don't know, it's like he's got some secret inside of him, something he's afraid of, and he's fighting it, as hard as he can".

Well, that was probably the most profound Race had ever been in his life, but I guess the guy's a lot more insightful than he lets on. But, anyway, he was right. I couldn't let this secret Mush was carrying hurt him so much, because it visually was. Mush looked so much different than usual. He had dark circles under his eyes that were so dark it looked like he had gotten soaked. He was thinner than normal too. In fact, I had no idea when Mush had last eaten or sold papes. The only guys he talked to were Jack, Skittery, and Snitch. As I said, he was only getter better around _some_ of the other guys. As much as he was struggling to fight it, Mush needed help, and I was going to give it to him. He was my best friend after all, who else would be better?

Later, well much later, I had no idea what time it was, but it was sometime in the middle of the night. I had just gotten in from, well, I'm sure you can guess, but anyway, I climbed through the window and, while checking on Mush like I normally do, I realized he wasn't in his bed. Well, just because he looked like he didn't sleep, didn't mean he didn't. (Ok, I know that made no sense but you know what I mean.) I figured this was the perfect time to find out what was wrong with him. I chose the place Mush always went when he had problems or needed to think. Climbing up onto the roof, I could see the small figure of Mush leaning against the side of the wall. I padded up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He jumped causing me to as well.

We stood in silence for awhile until Mush finally said softly, "Hey Blink."

He sounded so feeble and weak, that I could only stare back at him, and reply dumbly, "Heya Mushy."

"Blink," he started distantly, "What if I couldn't tell you something, something I could never tell anyone but you, something you'd probably hate me for. What'd you say?"

Ok, just so you know I had no idea what he was talking about, but at least he was talking to me. "Mushy," I said using the nickname I had used for years, "you're my best friend, you can tell me anything."

"I wish I could….maybe…." he broke off.

"What if I told you…" he almost couldn't say it, "what if I told you….I-I love you?"

He wasn't looking at me anymore, just staring out into the empty air. A million thoughts ran through my head at once, but mainly what I thought was 'What?' Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Mush was a Queer, a fag, and he was in love with me.

_**Dunn dun dun duhnnnnnn Ok, its out, it's done!! Yay me! dances happily The climax has passed!! But, it's**_ _**not over yet! The best is still to come!! Review Review Review!!! **_

_**Spirit **_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Notes: Alright, the next chapter. Hope you like it!! Oh, BTW, I need more reviews!!!! (Passionate Fire as an exception) Come on people!! **__****_

_**Disclaimer: Ok, I don't own Newsies, but if I did, do you think I would even bother to spend my time writing stories?  
**_

_**(I just figured out how to put that line in so that it would show up, isn't it snazzy?)**_

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**Chapter Four**

"Blink," Mush pleaded. I stumbled backwards, away from him. I felt stunned, I definitely wasn't expecting that, and I instantly regretted the words I had said to him not ten minutes ago.

"Blink," he said again, sounding close to tears, "please don't be like this."

"No," I hissed, "get away from me." His chocolate eyes filled with hurt and betrayal. I simply turned my back on him and walked down the fire escape. When I did look back though, Mush was crying.

Back in my bed, I thought about Mush. It was all coming together now. Every time I touched him, every time he touched me….was because of that. Wow, I even shared my bed with…with that. But, even as this overload of images and thoughts flowed through my brain, the one of Mush sobbing was most prominent. He was crying, and because of me……Ok, so maybe what I did was a little jerkish, well, a lot. It wasn't my fault. He was the one who had to be, y'know, that way. But, even before I found this out, none of those things bothered me before, why should they now? 'Because it gives him secret pleasure,' the voice inside my head answered. I quietly told it to shut up. Mushy was my best friend. I guess I could wait for him to come down from the roof and apologize. Things would never be the same, but it would help a little and maybe Mush wouldn't feel like total shit. As I composed in my head what to say, I drifted back to sleep.

The next morning, when I woke up, I headed into the washroom as usual, but there was something nagging in the back of my mind...what was it?

"Oh, shit Mush!" I whispered. I looked around for him frantically but didn't see him anywhere. Then I sprinted up onto the roof in just my underwear, and the frosty air hit me and froze the breath in my chest. I had forgotten how cold it was.

Mush was no where in sight, so I hurried back down the fire escape and asked, "Has anyone seen Mush?"

My only reply was a resounding chorus of "No"

Then Racetrack piped up, "Blink, Mush's stuff is gone. He left, Blink. Mush is gone."

What?

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_**Ok, so how did you like it?? I know Blink has been a complete jerk, but without it, there would be no story. Don't worry, he will get nicer. For any reviewer out there, I was wondering, I think I am going to redo this story in Mushy's point of view. Just say in your review if you like the idea or not. Well, I might just do it anyway regardless. I have too many good ideas for it. Ok, so get to it!! Write those reviews!**_

_**Spirit**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's Notes: Here it is!!! The final chapter!! (Just so you know, I sung that)**_

_**Disclaimer: Ok, I don't own Newsies, but if I did, do you think I would even bother to spend my time writing stories?**_

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**Chapter Five**

No, this couldn't be happening; Mush couldn't leave! I had to say sorry first!

"No! NO NO NO!" I yelled, "This is all my fault!"

"Blink," Jack cut in sharply, "What happened."

"You want to know what happened?" I asked, my voice cracking, "Mush just told me the biggest secret of his life, and I rejected him, I fucking betrayed him and now he's gone, that's what happened."

"Ok, look, let's not jump to conclusions, maybe he'll come back. Let's just wait a day or two and see what happens."

"Wait a day? Are you kidding me?" I asked, appalled, "Do you know how cold it is out there? Mush has no food, no warm clothes, and no money, and you want to wait before you start looking?" I couldn't believe it. I turned my back on one of my friends for the second time that day, and walked out into the frosty air.

I had no idea where to start looking. There were thousands of places where he could be. I started looking in some bars around town, but almost kicked myself. He had no money, why would he go to a bar? Sometimes I hated myself for my stupidity. I spent the rest of the day looking, walking up and down the streets, calling his name, and stopped when hunger forced me. I was trying my hardest, but you can't look in every abandoned house or ally y'know? Finally I had to stop. It was getting dark, and cold. I wished with all my might that Mush could last one more day without getting mugged or frozen. Mushy was tough, he could make it. I prayed with all my might, 'Please Mushy, just one more day.

I still couldn't find him. It had been two days since he left and I still couldn't find him. I felt bad whenever I had to stop to eat or sell papes, but if I didn't, then there'd be no way I'd have the strength left to find Mush. The thing that scared me the most was the cold. Winter was hitting us, and it was hitting us hard. I worried about Mush every minute of the day. When Jack told me to calm down, I nearly took his head off. I had to find Mush.

The next day, when I was looking and selling, (I figured it was a good idea to multitask) I was so fed up and tired, that I screamed into the empty air "Mush!! I'm sorry ok? What I said was wrong, and you're still my friend!! Just come back please!!" I sprinted into and ally and sank to the ground, fighting tears. There was a bum in the ally with me, shivering under some newspapers. He slowly lifted his head up and stared at me with dull chocolate brown eyes.

"Blink," he said softly. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and stared. How did this bum know my name? It's not like I go around parading- realization hit me.

"Mush?" I said dumbly, "Is it really you?" He nodded weakly. "Oh my gosh," I whispered, my voice growing louder with every word, "Oh my gosh Mush, I found you!" I took a second to look at him, really look at him for the first time in days.

He looked like a walking skeleton, and his face was so dirty I could barely recognize him. The dark circles under his eyes were even more prominent now, if that was even possible. He had a couple of bruises on his face and arms, probably from getting mugged or something. I wondered how he even survived this long.

"Oh Mush, I'm so sorry," I choked out, "Let's get you home. I gingerly lifted him up on his feet, but he could barely walk, so I just lifted him up all together. He was so light it was like carrying a stack of papes.

"Blink," Mush whispered, "S'ok, I forgive you." Then he passed out. I carried his limp body back to the lodging house and he had a peaceful smile on his face for the first time in weeks.

END

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_**Don't you just want to squeeze the heck out of Mush and Blink? I know I do...**_

_**Whew! It's finally done. It was short but it's done. Tell me what you think!!! Why are you still reading this? You should be reviewing!!!! GO GO GO! But, never fear...a sequel will be coming your way! Probably just a oneshot. **_

**_Spirit _**


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